Day Three: The Fateful Day

While listening to BoA's English version of her song Double, I was reminded of the climax of my journey to be with Eshy, and I would like to share that moment with you all after I tell you the lyrics of this song so as you can understand the meaning I feel in those words, I am as you may know a singer myself, and there is just something about music, the words, the emotion behind it, that just overtakes me, I feel it in my very soul and being, and when I sing it comes out so clearly, and as such I want you to understand why I feel so deeply, just take a look at these lyrics;

Ready?

Don't know how it went so fast One day I just realized
Never thought I'd find you next to me
Don't stop, never been afraid I just kept on climbing up
Like it were some endless spiral stairs

It feels like it's far away Every time I try to reach
Always let me down Dream is hard to get OH

I believe in only you and me Never gonna give up, we can see
Happiness and sadness, together We are gonna DOUBLE TAKE IT!
Even the pain can be beautiful Only when the feeling is for you
Future will be always on my side I am gonna DOUBLE TAKE IT!

Sometimes we can all get lost Looking for the answer SO
Even love and hate can be EQUAL
Tell me are we meant to be? Could be chance or destiny
We are now together for REAL

It feels like I'm losing you Every time I reach your mind
Always break my heart Love is hard to hold OH

Only believe in a true romance Nothing gonna stop us, take a chance
Let us grab it hold on with our souls We are gonna DOUBLE TAKE IT!
Maybe it could be a winding road Hoping we can see the shining goal
I will smile and go on with you boy I am gonna DOUBLE TAKE IT!

It feels like it's far away Every time I try to reach
Always let me down Dream is hard to get OH

I believe in only you and me Never gonna give up, we can see
Happiness and sadness, together We are gonna DOUBLE TAKE IT!
Even the pain can be beautiful Only when the feeling is for you
Future will be always on my side I am gonna DOUBLE TAKE IT!

DOUBLE TAKE IT!

I cry sometimes when I sing that and guess what BoA cries sometimes when she performs, we are so alike lol, well I guess you all are saying to me dammit stop rambling and get to the good part, and I would like to tell you that I am not going to post just the log like Eshy did for his post about our trip to the Sublime Restaurant, no cause I like creative writing, and the chat logs are awesome source material so bear with me this post is gonna be a long one, but first let me set the scene for you, I stole away from the castle to a deserted island in the middle of a vast ocean with Eshy to spend some time with him, I started to break down in front of him, and he walked me over to the beach, and laid down in the surf taking me in his arms, and we start off from there...

"I missed you," I say softly as I look into his eyes sadly, and my ears perk up as I sense some sadness in his voice as he lets out a soft sigh.
"I missed you too kitty." he says to me softly as he strokes my ears, causing a soft purr to come from deep inside me, and I look out at the ocean, and sigh...
"Oh this place is so romantic.." I say as I feel tears coming to my eyes, but I remain strong and keep them hidden from him, I don't want him to be concerned for me, for who am I...
I shiver gently as I feel the water lapping and washing over me, the surf chilling me a bit as the sun goes down, the full moon and stars coming into view, and I press myself closer into his arms, and I look up into his eyes as he wraps his arms around me in a loving embrace, kissing the top of my head softly, and I can feel his breath on my neck, and I feel tears coming down my face as I cannot hold back anymore...
"Eshy.....you know...I really love you and it hurts sometimes....because I still care for Drin, but he doesn't really love me....like you love me..." I say I look down trying to hide my tears from him...
"Well, are you sure he doesn't love you like that? Or maybe he just has a strange way of showing it.." he says, concern and worry evident in his voice as he runs his fingers through my hair, his warm, rough hand cupping my chin, bringing my gaze to his, as he places a kiss on my cheek, staring at me...
"He cares for me his way but it is cold and lacking.." I reply softly.
"Can you tell me what that thing is?" he says staring intently into my eyes, a light of hope in his eyes, as I move closer to him...
"Like I always feel like I have to justify when I say no, or I feel uncomfortable doing that.." I say..
"Hmmmm....I see what you mean.." he says, a feeling of thought in his voice
"And he never cuddles or makes love with me, he just uses me as a toy..." I say looking down I blush with shame, "He doesn't care for all of me the way you do.."
He smiled softly and blushes slightly as he hears those words from my mouth and he looks like he was just proved right..
"I always knew sex without feeling in it was just sex, it means nothing.." He says softly looking out at the ocean....

(ok it gets way to wordy to continue doing it like this so I will just copy and paste from chat logs from this point on)

You: yes it doesnt feel the same
You: i dont feel the love and such in it
You: and I take time to do emotes for him...but no recipriocation, and when I ask him to he sighs and goes oh jeez
Esmiel Posthorn: well, he shouldnt act like that. its not much to ask
You: and for months I have been so starving for a session like I used to have with Reo, and he doesnt seem to want to do that, and I have been too shy and scared to ask anyone
Esmiel Posthorn: well, Drin is not Reo. he has his own way of doing things, and i guess that doesnt quite fit the way you like things to be
You: well not I dont mean exactly, what I mean is I want a passionate emoted love-making session with him, but he seems to either be unable, or doesnt want to do that, and I really need that closeness, even if it isnt with him, I just feel like a robot
Esmiel Posthorn: wouldnt doing it with someone else make you unfaithful to Drin? is that worth it
You: he took another slave only for a few days, but I cant help but think he did something with him after I went to bed this one night, and I know that he did
Esmiel Posthorn: has Drin actually said he would be only for you?
You: yes
Esmiel Posthorn: but he goes off with this other slave and breaks that vow... you doing the same with someone else wont make things right... but i spose it might make you feel a little better
You: yes it sort of would make me feel better and I have kept what I promised him
Esmiel Posthorn: is making yourself feel better worth breaking a promise? thats the issue i think...
You: yes but every time he knows he is wrong and I comment on that, he snaps at me and goes back to the stern Master mode and it hurts because its like he can harp on me when I am wrong but he is all-mighty, and never wrong
You: and I know I am a slave
You: but still that is not a true Master-slave relationship there always has to be a little give and take
You: I give and he takes
Esmiel Posthorn: of course... alot of masters I've met have a problem with pride.. they cant be seen to be weaker than their slaves. a good master would work it out with his slave i guess, actually solve the problem together. Drin just 'solves' it by himself not caring what you say...
You: Eshy....do you still find me attractive...:blushes: I mean....
You: would you still want me?
Esmiel Posthorn smiles and nods. blushing slightly
You: because I....:blushes: still find you so attractive....:blushes more:
You: would you still want me?
Esmiel Posthorn smiles and nods. blushing slightly
You: because I....:blushes: still find you so attractive....:blushes more:
Esmiel Posthorn blushes and runs a finger through your hair, across your cheek and down your back softly
Nicholai Heita shudders and purrs softly
Esmiel Posthorn: kitty, Drin has no idea what he has in you.
You: I think he does and wants to see how far he can stretch it
Esmiel Posthorn: you mean, take advantage of it?
You: I dont want to think of that word
You: lookie what I found dusting off my inventory
Esmiel Posthorn accepted your inventory offer.
Esmiel Posthorn: omg! hehe
Esmiel Posthorn accepted your inventory offer.
Esmiel Posthorn accepted your inventory offer.
Esmiel Posthorn: that was a fun day *grins*
You: yes it was....annoying lag though remember LOL you disconnected and some idiot came in and my butt was in the air LOL
Esmiel Posthorn: LOL
You: I aslo changed my shape and face a bit
You: and made my ass bigger, can you tell :P
Esmiel Posthorn pats it and nods
Nicholai Heita purrrs
You: oh Eshy...why didnt I stay with you....
Nicholai Heita begins to cry
Esmiel Posthorn holds you tight and nuzzles you
Esmiel Posthorn: i dont know baby... its cos i wasnt ready for something serious. i cried like a baby when you went back to Gor
You: I did too...
You: and I am still crying now
Esmiel Posthorn wipes the tears from your cheek with the back of his palm and kisses it
Esmiel Posthorn: i ended a relationship in SL just 2 days ago, kitten. i loved that guy very much. maybe soon i will be ready for something again... if you wanted.. maybe
You: I want you Eshy...so much...
Nicholai Heita places his face on your chest and cries
Esmiel Posthorn: right here, right now, i am all yours kitty. all yours
Esmiel Posthorn strokes your hair softly
Nicholai Heita wraps his arms around Eshy, and he shudders as his sobs soften
Esmiel Posthorn runs his fingers gently down your back, caressing your soft skin
Nicholai Heita shudders and he mews softly, and he rubs his nose against your chest
Esmiel Posthorn lifts your chin with his hand softly and kisses you on the forehead
Nicholai Heita closes his eyes, wet streaks marring his otherwise perfect complexion
You: let me tell you a little secret
You: when he does have sex with me, most of the time about 10 seconds into it I just start camming around like what do I need to add here, and just making mmnnnn and ahhh sounds as he clicks away
Esmiel Posthorn: i cam around a bit too whenever I'm with anyone. but my focus is always on them. honestly :)
You: well mine wasnt I was focused on the other room like would a vase look good here and what kind of flowers
You: and then he goes Nicholai's Dickie: Drinkin strokes it hard, and I go ahhnnn then go silent
Esmiel Posthorn: lol sex with him sounds enthralling
You: and apparently he gets off on that for some reason
You: eshy.....
Esmiel Posthorn: yeah?
You: hold me....I dont want to be alone right now....
Esmiel Posthorn wraps his arms around you
Esmiel Posthorn: you arent alone kitten. I'm here with you
You: thank you eshy....
You: I am so sorry if I have been like constantly flaunting myself in your face and you know you cant have me....I dont think when I act sometimes...
Esmiel Posthorn: its ok Nicho, no worries. i know you ^^
You: but the truth is you have always had me, all you have to do is say a word, anything....
You: I have never let anyone deeper then I have you Eshy, that is why I went back to Gor because those words you told me hurt so much...
Esmiel Posthorn: I know kitten, i know. i didnt think when i said those things. i hurt you and I'll never forgive myself. but i really do love you. so so much
You: I love...you...to...Eshy...
Nicholai Heita tears falls down his cheeks as he presses his lips to yours chastely...
Esmiel Posthorn kisses you gently, stroking your cheek with his palm
Nicholai Heita falls against your chest, his wet tears hitting your bare flesh as he whispers over and over
You: I love..you..Eshy...so much.....I am dying without you...
Esmiel Posthorn holds you close and tears form in his eyes. 'Come and be with me then'
Nicholai Heita looks up into your eyes and he softly nods and he presses his lips to yours, his body shuddering
Esmiel Posthorn strokes your back with his fingers as he kisses you on the cheek, then on the lips
Nicholai Heita whimpers softly, then parting his lips, his passion and love for you so strong, he cant take it anymore
Esmiel Posthorn looks in your eyes as he kisses you passionately
Nicholai Heita opens his eyes, tears shimmering as he finally kisses you openly, melting in your arms
Esmiel Posthorn holds you firmly yet gently as he pulls back from your kiss and smiles into your eyes
You: ohh...Eshy...I love you and want you so much....
Esmiel Posthorn: i love you too Nicho.
Nicholai Heita looks up into your eyes blushing....
You: Eshy...
Esmiel Posthorn: yes?
You: I seem to....be....ummm..excited....
Esmiel Posthorn raises an eyebrow
Nicholai Heita blushes more
Nicholai Heita positions himself so to hide it...
You: the kiss and my love for you, has been bubbling in me for such a long time...
You: and it seems that letting it out, has a unusual effect on me for some reason...
Nicholai Heita blushes even more
You: I...am...sure...it...w..will...settle...down...though...
Nicholai Heita stutters as he blushes cutely
Esmiel Posthorn: well, we could let it settle down.. *leans in close*...
Esmiel Posthorn whispers 'Or...'
Nicholai Heita blushes and asks "yes.."
Esmiel Posthorn leans closer, so his mouth is just touching your ear 'We could not leave it to settle...'
Nicholai Heita shudders at the touch, and he blushes more, and whispers
You: would you like that....

That is all you get you are going to have to imagine the rest from there PERVS! j/k I love you all :P